Summer Sift

By Amy Berrafato, LMFT, CST

Alas, summer 2021 is here! In this anxiously awaited stage of post-pandemic life, the world is opening up again, bit by bit. We can be outdoors freely, gather with our vaccinated loved ones, and even walk into a grocery store maskless. We can also consider doing fun things! A return to restaurants, baseball games, and live music...just having the option for fun is such a thrill. And yet, perhaps we’re not quite ready to jump right back in. So why all the complex feels?

When we’ve been through prolonged periods of trauma, it’s common to experience rolling waves of grief and mixed emotions as we move along. Oftentimes, we don’t realize how traumatized we’ve been until it lifts enough to feel it. I’ve noticed a pang of sadness when I hug friends for the first time in a year and a half as I confront the grief of how lonely 2020 was. It’s both/and. Let’s embrace both sides of those feelings with open arms (pun intended).

In her 2013 book Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed, Glennon Doyle offers this insight:

“You have been offered ‘the gift of crisis’. As Kathleen Norris reminds us, the Greek root of the word crisis is ‘to sift’, as in, to shake out the excesses and leave only what’s important. That’s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to hold onto only what matters most. The rest falls away.”

I’ve kept this image in mind as I decide what I do and don’t want to do this summer, and I encourage you to do the same. Perhaps you aren’t quite comfortable in a crowd, or prefer to stay masked. You are allowed to say yes and no to whatever you want! Consider what sifted and fell away for you during the pandemic: difficult relationships, social obligations, lifestyle habits? Be discerning as we open up again. Let that sifting continue to nurture you, and honor what matters most to you and your beautiful soul.