Don't Be the Balloon

By Amy Berrafato, LMFT, CST

I’ll be honest with you here: I don’t have much advice to give right now. After all, this is our FFT (f-ing first time...thank you Brene and fan girl Amy Stewart!) in a collective space like this. I, for one, am full of a mix of grief, anxiety, sadness, hope, and occasional normalcy all day every day, and it seems to change unexpectedly about every hour. What day is it? I’m fine, this is fine. Time for a snack. Oh wait, no it’s not fine. Am I here right now? Are pants a thing anymore? 

I learn so much from clients. I always have. Not a day goes by that they don’t surprise and amaze me. They are honest, struggling, brave, sad, anxious, and funny. Even when life throws a curveball and the future is a scary unknown. And while they come to therapy to talk to me about their issues, I also witness their insight and courage as a fellow human being. It’s an incredible experience! They say things that stick with me.

One of my clients mentioned a metaphor that I visualize often. She was describing anxiety that takes her out of her element when things feel quite out of control. As though she is one of many balloons flying all over the place. Chaotic, lost, untethered. She said, “Wouldn’t it be great if I was the one holding the balloons instead? I want to be that person. Steady, calm, grounded. One who can weather anything, while the chaos surrounds me.”

What a perfect visual! Let’s find ways to ground ourselves, ride the crazy waves, and return to an inner stability. It’s tempting to get caught up in the uncertainty, to run away with fears, doubts, and hopelessness, and fly away. Nope. My client got it right: don’t be the balloon. Be the person holding them. 

Don’t be the balloon. I’m right there with you.