Embodiment and Consent Start with You

By Lily Sahaguian, LPC

As I nestle into the depths of hibernation, I find myself nurturing the more introverted nooks of my being while paying attention to what and how my body is communicating to me through the winter months. Specifically, I have been reflecting on whether or not I am attuning to the messages my body sends. I have been asking myself: “…how can I build a more holistic and consensual relationship with my body to invite more softness amidst the harshness of winter?” 

In my work with clients, we often focus on this idea of embodiment — the act of expanding one’s self awareness to include the felt experience of the body (i.e., sensory, sensational, emotional) — and incorporating that experience into one’s overall way of being. I’ll ask clients to describe what they are feeling/sensing in the body, how they experience tension, or where they might feel a sense of spaciousness. I often encourage folks to describe how they envision the type of relationship they wish to have with their bodies. 

One desired outcome that comes up a lot is: “…I want to be able to slow down, be in my body, and stay present.”

This can mean a lot of things and look different for every person, but in every case, it always means attuning to our nervous system first. In doing so, we are able to build a consensual relationship with our bodies.

As Ev’yan Whitney describes in her podcast Sensual Self with Ev’Yan Whitney:

“… the word consent is strongly associated with the way we’re in relationship with sex. But consent also extends to the ways we’re in relationship with ourselves. Body consent is about nurturing a connection with ourselves where we heed the messages of our bodies and foster a sense that the voices of our body can be trusted. Body consent is about respecting your body’s boundaries, its yesses and its noes.”

For some, embodiment is complex. Especially for those who live through pain and discomfort in the body (i.e., complex trauma, chronic pain). Ev’yan challenges listeners to think about pain as an invitation to slow down and a reason to rest. Rather than overriding our pain, is it possible to begin building a sense of trust and be okay with where your body wants you to be?

For me, embodiment through the winter, means darker curtains regardless of sunny days, salty and fatty foods, extra time in bed, and leaning into the pleasures of these offerings to invite more softness.  

Learn more on Ev’yan Whitney’s podcast: Sensual Self with Ev’Yan Whitney on Spotify