A Soul Search: How’s Your Heart?

By Amy Berrafato, LMFT, CST

My heart has felt quite heavy lately. I’d imagine yours has too. This is the wildest year I’ve ever lived through (and it’s only June). And yet, as a privileged middle-class white woman who grew up in the suburbs, I have no idea what it is like to be Black in America, and I never will. As I check my privilege and join in conversations about race that have been going on for (forever?), I am learning that I have a lot to learn. And always will.

I’ve been reading and listening to many voices that speak to the heart of anti-racism, and wanted to share what spoke to me. As someone who generally loves to talk to people about their feelings (most days, anyhow :) ), racism has often been a tricky topic to navigate, for many reasons. Our discomfort doesn’t matter. And it shouldn’t. Just beyond that discomfort is where the growth lies. And our human spirit needs that now more than ever.

Fr. Bryan Massingale, a theology professor at Fordham University, wrote a beautiful commentary on white privilege that challenged me on many levels, particularly that of the soul. I’ll note that it is written from a Catholic point of view, so feel free to take what works for you, and leave what doesn’t.

He offers some steps to take as we enter into this space together:

“First, understand the difference between being uncomfortable and being threatened.

Next? Nothing. Sit in the discomfort this hard truth brings.

Third, admit your ignorance and do something about it. 

Fourth, have the courage to confront your family and friends…

Finally, pray.”

When he says pray, I say talk to that place in your soul, heart, spirit that needs a conversation right now. The one that wants and needs to be listened to. And connect to whomever or whatever you believe in, because this is so much bigger than we are. 

I leave the full article here for you if you’re interested. Take a look. I’d love to know what you think. As Massingale writes in his book Racial Justice and the Catholic Church, “What is now does not have to be. Therein lies the hope. And the challenge.”