Acceptance

By Amy Berrafato, LMFT, CST

In one of my recent meditations, I was reminded of a simply-stated truth:

The biggest source of stress for human beings is the desire for things to be different than they actually are.

Whoa. YES. We can apply this to just about all aspects of life! Health, love, fertility, sex, family, relationships, finances, grief/loss, work, parenting. Oh, and, you know, GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Many folks are currently facing realities they do not wish to be facing. Perhaps you or a loved one has received (or is terrified to receive) a scary diagnosis. Or your income has been quickly and significantly reduced. Maybe you’re lonelier than ever with social distancing. Your kids (and/or partner) may be driving you insane.

What makes these already heavy stressors even more difficult to tolerate is the push for them to not be there. The resistance. Thinking we can control the current circumstances, and yet, here we are. We can make this reality a little easier to manage if we accept it as it is.

Easier said than done, I know. I used to think that acceptance meant letting go of the desire for something different, but it actually gives you more room to breathe. You can still hold on to your goals, desires, prayers, and hope for change, but you’ll let go of that perceived control of the outcome. Loosen your grip a bit. Accept where you are and what you have.

Dr. Kristin Neff is a leading expert on self compassion, and she offers guided meditations about loving kindness on her website: https://self-compassion.org. One of my favorite parts is listed below. It gives me comfort during times of high stress. Give it a try during your next meditation. We are all riding this wave together.

May I be safe

May I be peaceful

May I be kind to myself

May I accept my life as it is