Set Good Boundaries + Breathe

By Amy Stewart, LMFT, CST

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When there’s a perceived threat, our nervous system kicks into high-gear, expecting us to do something, anything in response, including panic-buying toilet paper, three types of jam and 34 mylar balloons. All this stocking gives us a sense of control in a scary situation, something we’re all searching for more of at the moment. Remembering to be intentional about the things we actually have control over can be helpful. Two of the most effective ones: our boundaries and our breath. 

Set Good Boundaries 

Identifying and creating good boundaries can provide literal and metaphorical room to breathe. 

Mute alerts on your phone and designate a certain amount of time each day to check in with reliable sources that shut down the sensationalizing. The City of Chicago,  CDC and WHO are some of the best options.

Mute others on social media or in person. We’re all going to manage our feelings about the pandemic differently. Recognize and share your own boundaries with statements like, “I’m limiting the time I’m focusing on this each day, could we talk later” or “I know that you’re really anxious about this and I am too.  I’m realizing I’m not a good person for you to process this with.” 

Discuss with cohabitors the best boundaries for sharing space while working from home. What will your “office hours” be? How will you communicate? How do you transition from “work” to “home”? What are your expectations about household tasks? 

Focus on Your Breath

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, try the 4-7-8 Breathing exercise: 

  • Empty your lungs of air

  • Breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds

  • Hold your breath for 7 seconds

  • Purse your lips and exhale forcefully through the mouth with a “whoosh” for 8 seconds

  • Repeat 4 times 

Save the above gif to your phone and pull it out whenever you feel tempted to check in again on the latest news or need to feel grounded in the present moment. 

Stay safe, wash your hands, practice social distancing, take care of yourself and your fellow humans. We’re all in this together <3

Amy Freier