Masturbation for Vulva-Owners: Where To Start
By Rebecca Patterson, AMFT
We have not made it easy as a society for women or those with clitorises to access and cultivate healthy masturbation. Thankfully, I’ve noticed a trend in clients wanting to make more room for and be accepting of self pleasure as a normal and regular part of life. I frequently share space with folks who have no clue where to begin because it still lingers in the taboo. In hopes of streamlining things for any vulva owners and lovers, who know what they want but are intimidated by where to begin, below are some paths that may be fun to explore.
Sex toys can meet the important need of stimulation while reducing the effort and thus allowing for easier relaxation and pleasure. They also can be super effective in helping all types of bodies reach orgasm (though this is not always the marker of an enjoyable masturbation session). We live in a time of great variety and I tend to encourage folks to find a toy that makes them happy to look at and to a certain extent focuses on the clitoris.
Tip: Try out the newest iteration in female sex toys that pivots from the longstanding focus on vibrating and is instead on pulsation and suction! These toys envelop the clitoris and stimulates using a combination of air and suction. Check these out!
If toys don’t entice you, helpful pathways for exploring and building up your experience of pleasure is at your fingertips with the app OMGYes. It offers guided tutorials and infographic materials that help you understand what it means to pleasure and arouse your vulva.
Tip: This is a great app to use with your partner and can be a fun way to give feedback on what feels best for your body once you’ve spent time exploring it for yourself here!
If you’re here, you probably already know that vulvas are dynamic and may even feel like a mystery. Embracing this beautiful complexity often means playing by the Emily Nagoski truth that context matters. The “how” and the “when” of female masturbation can matter a lot for vulva owners and extends far past the actual exploration of your sexual parts. Seducing yourself can be a great way to build a space that makes masturbation uniquely your own and encourages the beauty that is your vulva to open up and receive the experience.
Tip: Reflect, perhaps even now, on what senses matter most to you when thinking about arousal. Sight, smell, taste, touch can all be pathways to a space that nurture’s your ideal masturbation experience.