Grief's Little Angels
By Amy Berrafato, LMFT, CST
Most Tuesday nights my post-work ritual includes a walk, a quick meal, and tuning in to that week’s episode of This Is Us. I look forward to it every week, and frankly don’t manage well when it’s not on. It is the perfect way to end a long workday, as I’m too tired to talk to anyone. I usually text my fellow TIU viewers to download our impressions of that episode’s events, and we share deeply. I feel all the feelings, and I’m often left weeping as I release emotions I didn’t even know were there. It’s quite magical.
I’m guessing you have your own version of this story (with or without the sobbing). You have favorite shows/movies/books/podcasts/music that draw you in, and perhaps people in your life to share them with. As if you’ve never been to a Bachelor viewing party...they are no joke! They bring us together as we share a common entertainment experience. We’re living in the golden age of television, after all! So we bond.
This bonding over what we consume may appear superficial on the surface, but it’s so much more than that. I think we’re drawn to certain characters, storylines, music, art, voices, etc. at times we need them the most. They show up in our lives at just the right moment! Maybe I picked up that book because I needed a place to grieve someone I lost, and the author wrote about it so beautifully. Perhaps you see a character on a show that reminds you of your father, and the complex emotions in that relationship. That podcast about sex and chronic pain made you feel so much less alone. And the laughter! I have Schitt’s Creek on repeat because the brilliant, colorful cast’s quick wit and sarcasm are just what my soul needs. I never tire of Moira and David Rose.
What if we looked at these outlets as little gifts for the soul, that allow us to feel and relate and grieve and grow? We can’t possibly feel all the grief and trauma of living through a pandemic; if we did, we’d never get out of bed. The creative gifts of tv, music, books, podcasts can open us up to the depths of our emotional experience, if we let them.
A few questions/thoughts to consider:
Which characters/voices/stories have you been drawn to lately, and why?
Any surprising emotional reactions to something you watched or read or listened to?
Share your insights with someone you love. It can be such a cathartic release!