Wired to Adapt

By Amy Berrafato, LMFT, CST

My initial response to change is almost always to resist it. I tighten my grip, and reject what’s happening next. I’m just not ready yet. I notice it most clearly with every change of season. Why might you see me in flip flops and bright nail polish until October? I’m protesting! No thanks, life, I’m good right here.

I’ve learned over the years that I just take a little time to adjust. I do eventually get on board because, well, it gets cold and I have to! But not without a little anger and rebellion first. So now I let myself be upset for a little while, until it passes. Then I’m ready to go, with some readiness and more flexibility.

It’s been interesting to witness clients, family, and friends make and navigate major life changes in the current climate. Moves to different cities, lifestyle shifts, challenges with virtual learning, social distance boundaries, breakups. Everything is changing! Very real struggles, ongoing grief and loss of what was, and continued uncertainty about the future. 

And yet, we are incredibly adaptable human beings, capable of personal growth beyond our wildest dreams. We are wired to adapt, and meant to. We adjust because we have to, and we will keep doing so. 

As you adapt to the changes around you, it helps to know your particular style of change: do you embrace it readily and with excitement? Are you impulsive? A planner? Or perhaps an ostrich with your head in the sand?

Whatever your style, own it! You are likely in good company. Embrace change with kindness, and ask loved ones for what you need. Nothing about this year has been what it was expected to be. So loosen that grip on expectations, trust your adaptable self, and ride the wave. Dare I say we might have some fun? Crazier things have happened.