Sexual Health + COVID-19

By Rebecca Patterson, MSMFT

It’s no secret that this pandemic has changed EVERYTHING about our way of life - including how we date. In early August, relationship expert Dr. Alexandra Solomon and dating expert Bela Gandhi contributed to a Sun-Times article wondering if Covid-19 would be the end of hook-up culture. They suggested that dating/hookup culture was fast-paced, and that we’d be better off slowing things down. Today, however, dating includes video chats and socially-distanced walks in the park instead of the bar make-outs that were so commonplace a year ago.  

The question is, Will the trend of emotional intimacy preceding physical intimacy outlast this current emergency? No one knows… but when I recently posed the question to a close single friend of mine her response was so interesting it felt important to share. For her, the end of hookup culture seemed entirely unlikely. 

The shift she instead sees coming is an increase in transparent communication. Dating during Covid means constantly asking about each other’s health boundaries. Some folks are comfortable with a 6ft distanced date in the park with masks on, others are comfortable with an outdoor dinner date, while some are still not interested in meeting in person at all. There is a constant dialogue about these boundaries and people are more motivated than ever to be highly transparent about what they’re comfortable with and what it looks like to keep one another safe. 

By normalizing asking questions about health and responding with honest answers, Covid-19 could inspire a generation of dating where conversations about sexual health such as STI testing and the use of protection with past partners is well-received, respected and expected. Many I have spoken to in the past have either feared the question of sexual health or felt unsure of the truthfulness of a partner's response to questions about testing and past partners but felt unable to push back for fear of judgement. Folks dating in this current landscape have no such luxury to tiptoe around the issue of health and safety. Now that health and safety are things we discuss on a daily basis, I’m looking forward to the new trend of treating sexual health and safety with the same level of openness.